I’m mental: Some thoughts about mental issues during weight loss

Body image

So far, I’ve lost just 13 pounds, with 76 more to go. That’s already meant 2 belt notches and all my clothes either fitting better or even too loosely. I should feel awesome about that, and I do, when I’m in my right mind. But when I look at myself in the mirror, I see myself as more fat, not less. My mental body image is wrong. Plus I feel horrible for ever having got this fat in the first place.

So I’m teaching myself to ignore my irrational body image and stick to the numbers. Counting calories on the MyFitnessPal app and website—the numbers—that’s the only thing that works for me. So, body image dysmorphia or not, I have to stick to the numbers for the rest of my life, just as a diabetic patient must track glucose numbers forever.


I’m waking up in the middle of the night—around 3 or 4 AM. At first this bothered me, especially because I couldn’t figure out why. Then I learned that this pattern is normal, and sleeping through the night is weird. And I had an epiphany. I’m counting calories, and what has calories? My beloved beer and wine!

Among its many properties is that alcohol is a hypnotic (sleep-inducing) drug. So fewer beers during The Daily Show and so forth means less artificially induced sleep overnight. Anyway, I’ve already noticed that less weight on me means that a single adult beverage is enough to make me tipsy. So I’m winning on all fronts: losing weight, sleeping better, and saving money.

I’ve never fallen asleep easily. I have to read in bed or spend a lot of time letting go of the day, really unwinding, and relaxing enough for sleep. Recently, my partner turned me on to melatonin, which I’ve now used for 3 nights. That seems to speed up the onset of welcome drowsiness, so it works for me in this transitional time. Is it a placebo? I have no way to know.


Clipper autoload is broken

Fred C. ‏@oddnoc
Dammit. Just remembered my Clipper card is empty. And don’t tell me to use autoload. That system is shamefully broken.

How is the autoload system broken? I’ve been using it for a couple of years and haven’t seen any problems. Is it a security issue?

Through my employer, I can fund my transit expenses with pre-tax funds. This is done through WageWorks, which does a great job. The money goes into an account that’s accessed via a specialized MasterCard.

I had linked the MasterCard number to my Clipper card for autoload (actually, it’s one of the old, Translink-branded ones). Whenever the value of the card falls below $10, autoload is supposed to add a user-definable increment to the card. Here’s how it works:

  1. Have $11 on the card
  2. Ride Muni, reducing the card value to $9
  3. Autoload kicks in, incrementing the value of the card to, say $29
  4. Clipper attempts to charge the linked account, which at the moment, has, say, $19.95 in it
  5. Oh no! Insufficent funds!
  6. Clipper card, including the legitimate $9, is blocked
  7. No more transit for you!

Why don’t they swap steps 3 & 4?

The last time this happened, the Clipper customer service representative admitted how broken this is, and advised never using autoload with a commuter debit card, and so I don’t.

QuickLook plugins for web development

Awesome QuickLook plugins that are free. QuickLook shows previews in MacOS X Leopard. These plugins extend its capabilities. As a web developer, I find these quite useful. To install them, put the *.qlgenerator files in ~/Library/QuickLook (which folder you might have to create).

Archive plugin: previews the contents of zip and tar.gz/tgz archives.

Home page [in Japanese]: http://homepage.mac.com/xdd/software/archive/

Direct download link:    http://homepage.mac.com/xdd/software/archive/download/Archive.qlgenerator01.zip

Folder plugin: previews the contents of folders.

Home page [in Japanese]: http://homepage.mac.com/xdd/software/folder/

Direct download link:    http://homepage.mac.com/xdd/software/folder/download/Folder.qlgenerator03.zip

FLV plugin: previews Flash video.

Home page [in Japanese]: http://homepage.mac.com/xdd/software/flv/

Direct download link:    http://homepage.mac.com/xdd/software/flv/download/flv_qlg01.zip

Color Code plugin: previews source code with syntax coloring.

Home page: http://code.google.com/p/qlcolorcode/

Direct download: http://qlcolorcode.googlecode.com/files/QLColorCode-1.1.0.tgz

IE8 & acid3

Ran the acid3 web standards test today. Here are the results:

# Mac
Safari 4 beta: 100
FF 3.0.7:       71
# PC
Safari 3.1.2:   75
Safari 4 beta: 100
IE7:            12
IE8:            19
IE8 (compat):   12

How I spent my day today

pkg_deinstall vim-lite
pkg_delete -f php5-pcre\*
pkg_delete -f php5-extensions\*
portupgrade -Po devel/php5-json devel/pecl-json
portupgrade -o security/php5-hash security/pecl-hash
portupgrade -Pua
rm /usr/local/www/apache22/data/index.html