Jabberturkey

From: THE FIRST CITIZEN #101
When: 12:45p, 28-Nov-85

’Twas thanksgiv, and the pilgry knives,
Did hashenslacken with their blades.
All crimsy were the ended lives,
And the trimmytrees gave shades.

Beware the Jabberturk!
The gobble cry, the meat that’s white!
Wish well when nigh the Wishbone lurk,
And pray the carver you’ll not smite!

And so he took his Blackendecker electric knife in hand,
Ignoring all the rules of meter.
And rested he near the Cranberry,
And thought his thoughts so bland.

And hast thou stuffed thy chubby face?
Now come to me, my rotund boy!
Oh football game! Hee hee, hey hey!
He had a drink to show his joy.

’Twas thanksgiv, and the Nacirema,
Did consoomengooden all the day.
The TV raster fed their eyes,
Giving thanks for a special broadcast day.

’Twas thanksgiv, and the pilgry knives,
Did hashenslacken with their blades.
All crimsy were the ended lives,
And the trimmytrees gave shades.

Not Lewis Carroll.

Copyright © 1985 The First Citizen. Used by permission of the author.